I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
