sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
