Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
