Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i think my mom watched the whole time
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
