I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
