Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
