Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
