Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
