Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Randomize
