why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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