Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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