I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
