woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Princesses don't give blow jobs
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
