it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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