I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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