How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
