I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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