Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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