WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
