I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
