im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
