dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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