marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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