I heard we made out
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
