NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
