The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
