Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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