look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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