Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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