I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
