Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
