At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
