Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
