if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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