I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
