hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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