is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
