Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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