My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
God, I missed his penis.
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