I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
