the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
