Sponge bath it is.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
