This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
