my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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