Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
