I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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