You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
