lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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