The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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