He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
