is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
