How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
